From "Perfect" to Purpose: Breaking the Cycle of People-Pleasing

If you are anything like I was a few years ago, your life is a marathon of duties. You’re working hard at your job, keeping the home running, and meeting every single expectation placed upon you.

Many of us grew up believing our primary purpose was to fulfill the needs of others – first our parents, then our husbands, and eventually our in-laws and children. To be the “perfect” daughter, wife, and mother, we follow an endless list of unwritten rules and behaviors.

The Hidden “Catch” of Meeting Expectations

While we run this race, there is a subtle, unspoken expectation we carry: If I do everything right, they will show me the love and appreciation I deserve. We look to others to fuel our happiness. But here is the catch: People are human. They get busy, they get lost in their own worries, or they simply don’t see the depth of our sacrifice. When that appreciation doesn’t come, a quiet resentment begins to grow.

“Why aren’t they noticing? Why am I not being loved back in the same way I am giving?”

I lived in this cycle for a long time. I remember my life coach pointing out this dynamic years ago, and at the time, I couldn’t even see it. But eventually, that built-up resentment acts like a volcano – it only takes one small spark to blow, hurting the very family we’ve worked so hard to protect.

The Missing Piece: You

When we are busy meeting everyone else’s expectations, we forget the most important person in the room: Ourselves.

• What happened to your dreams and goals?

• What are your likes and dislikes outside of your family’s needs?

• What passions have you tucked away in the “someday” folder?

  
  

The Shift to Inner Peace

When you begin to honor your inner dreams – whether that’s a side passion or a total career change, something profound happens. You start to generate genuine joy from within. When you make your own fulfillment a priority, you stop needing others to “make” you feel loved because you are finally providing that for yourself. This actually releases your family from the heavy burden of being responsible for your happiness. The result? A lighter, more joyful home for everyone.

Your Healing Journey Starts Here

I know it isn’t easy to shift from decades of people-pleasing to self-prioritization. Deep unconscious beliefs and old patterns often stand in the way.

I invite you to start today with these three steps:

1. Journal: Write down three dreams you’ve ignored.

2. Observe: Notice the thoughts or “guilt” that arise when you think about pursuing them.

3. Acknowledge: Realize that bringing awareness to these patterns is the beginning of your healing.

   
   

Let’s Rewrite Your Story

You don’t have to navigate this shift alone. It is possible to understand and rewrite these inner stories, sometimes in as little as one session.

Ready to find your lightness again? [Schedule a complementary session with me here: https://calendar.app.google/MTGov3oYPvPBYLkm7], and let’s begin your journey back to yourself.